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Yes the word SHENMUE could well easily be mistaken for a Japanese donkey (shen maul) or even a character from STAR WARS (Darth Maul) but its not so why am I being so fu*cking stupid? Freak!

Ryo: That day the day it snowed, did you see a black car?

Old man: Aaahhh, that day?

Ryo: Yes that day!

Old man: That day? Well let me think…… No

Oh yes! This game is the future for SEGA and for the rest of the gaming world, at last these guys have come up with the goods before anyone else (for a change).
We asked the Sega representative what it felt like to be leading the way, but he only speaks Japanese… Erm, yeah cheers for that Mr representative, so I haven’t a clue how Sega feel.

Ryo: That day, do you remember a black car driving off at high speed?

Little girl: Yes it killed my cat, but I managed to save the kitten would you like to see my little black pussy?

Ryo: Erm, maybe when your 15… I mean 18, must dash.

The graphics, well they are in a class above all consoles including the latest P.C stuff, the movement, imagine being sick without the lumps… So, so smooth, the depth of the game is so deep you need oxygen tanks strapped to your back to play it.

Ryo: That day it snowed, did you see anything strange?

Little boy: Yes, mummy was shagging uncle Chi while Daddy was at work!

Ryo: Did you take any photo’s? No, I mean forget it, seeya.

I’m not going to bore you with a long review that you aren’t even going to read, so here’s the low down in one long sentence. This game is the BOOM, wicked graphics top rate gameplay, loads of unexpected twists and turns and in depth action, the best game ever made! PS2 has started to shake!

Ryo: That day, the day that black car killed the cat did you see anything strange?

Old lady: If you ask me that one more time I’ll rip out your beating heart and stuff it up your ass, now sod off before I call the police you annoying little stalking ba#*rd!

As you can probably tell, the dialog is absolute shite with a capital S, if I hear ‘That day?’ one more time I going to take out next doors whole family……. Its that bad a problem, the one and only complaint of the game. But hey theres always one in every village, right!