Unsurprisingly, the governments across the world are oblivious to who the dastardly culprits are, or their motivation for stealing such iconic structures. The President of the United States turns to the Angels to find the criminals and return their ill-gotten prizes to their rightful owners. The opening sequences are hilariously bad, then you stop laughing, as the actual game commences and a stunned feeling takes grip. Soon your shock fades into the realisation that you’ve just experienced the best Charlie’s Angels has to offer. It feels like you've thrust back in time to another era of poor design, graphics, bugs and a blatant attempt to rip-off consumers. The only positive aspects of this game are the music and cut sequences, but do not be fooled too much as in any other game these would rank as being poor at best. The rest of Charlie's Angels is garbage of the highest order.
The adventure is broken down into a series of levels spread across the world, as the Angels make inroads into the organisation and the involvement of the Thin Man. The locations range from a local dockyard to Scotland and a military base covered in snow. These are purely backdrops and not pretty ones at that, as they bring nothing to the gameplay. However the Angels take every opportunity to dress as scantily as possible, with the whole experience kicking off with a bikini competition. Sadly on the basis in-game graphics, Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu should really cover up and only go out at night time.
Every level plays out exactly the same. This is a three dimensional scrolling beat 'em up that makes the Spectrum seem advanced. The fighting system is very limited and the best results obtained by repeating the same combo or move over and over again. The level design must have been complied by a young infant, as skill or even a gram of imagination are nowhere to be found. The fighting involves a series of identically clad opponents who all have similar names such as Brad or Boris, who often become trapped on scenery while displaying no intelligence whatsoever. Collision detection is a major issue and the camera retains a strict side on perspective. Quite often you will struggle to find the next screen as this world is full of invisible walls and the Angels are incapable of jumping obstacles and take half an hour to climb up a ladder. Thankfully the developers have seen fit to include a huge arrow that sits firmly in vision, almost forcing you onto the next stage.
Each Angel over the course of a level will appear twice to smash her way through opponents, to suddenly arrive at her intended target and then call one of the other Angels, who will begin her quest to reach her own goal. An attempt has been made to try and give each Angel an individual fighting characteristic, but it just comes down to consistently punching and kicking. While the sequences before each mission are ok, the in-game efforts at communicating events are woeful; even the recordings of the Angels seem half-hearted and lack effort. There are even no other modes to speak of with only some pictures and footage available to those brave enough to reach the end. Arguably the lack of modes is perhaps a positive factor, as it does not prolong the agony of what is a short and damaging experience.
A release such as this can kill off a console. The most damming aspect of Charlie’s Angels is the graphics. A double take is needed to confirm that this is not running on the original PlayStation or Sega Saturn and not the Gamecube. Oh, Nintendo’s seal of quality really slipped up letting this game through.
