Goat Simulator Review

Dagnabbit, that wasn’t meant to happen. Anyway, this is a review for Goat Simulator, a game that has no right whatsoever to be good, but for some strange reason, is.

The staff at Gamestyle are mostly made up of 30+ year olds who over the years may have become a bit jaded with certain types of games. These ‘Simulator’ games on the whole are awful shovelware crap, there is no hiding that fact. However, we also know that there is an audience for the decent efforts in the ‘genre’ and so onto Goat Simulator.

I had a plan here, I was to let my 8 year old son loose with the game, record it and let that be the review. However, he got a bit of stage-fright and forgot he was needing to talk whilst playing. We put the video up anyway and you can watch it below.

I still wanted his opinion so a little while after I sat down with my son (Lucas) and asked him about the game.

DAD: Straight off the bat son, what on earth is Goat Simulator?

LUCAS: It’s a fun game where I am the goat and I can wear jetpacks and headbutt people to make them fall over. I can blow up cars and fly far when it explodes.  I like being able to slide down a slide and onto a trampoline, then go into a house and wreck it.

That’s all very well Lucas, but seriously, what is the point?

I told you already Dad, I am a goat and I can do cool things like smash cars.

But you play normal games like Pacman, Rogue Legacy, Forza, NHL, Ratchet and Clank, etc. They have a point to them… what does this have?

It has points for doing things and it is fun.

No I don’t mean literal points, I mean why do you do these things? In Driver you need to go through a story and get to the end. What does this do?

What does literal mean Dad?

Really? It means using a word as actual fact, without it being a metaphor… wait you know this stuff, stop teasing me!

Haha, I know, but it’s fun to tease.

Yes, yes I know. So anyway, is there a story to Goat Simulator? Is there an end?

No, you give your goat mutations and have fun. It’s fun Dad, I like fun games and it is silly. You always tell me that games are an escape where you can break away from reality and just enjoy yourself, where you separate your real world from this one.

WHAT?!? You are 8 years old that is pretty deep, where did that come from?

It’s something you have always taught me about games, it’s why you let me play games that are for older people than me like…

STOP… I get it, let’s not get Daddy into trouble right now. We are going off topic a bit.

Look Dad, I am going to knock this man off a crane [fits of laughter]

[laughter here too] Ok, it’s fun and silly and we understand that is a good thing. So who would like this game then?

Everyone! Who doesn’t like fun Dad? Old men are so boring.

WHOA! Who are you calling boring?

You Dad and your friends, because you needed me to play this game to tell your reader friends if it is good.

Yeah, fair point! So look, you like it and it is fun. I have played it too and yes I had a good time, even playing together was great. But you need to give it a score.

I did that in my video Dad!

Yes but the sound was buggered and you barely spoke.

That’s your fault Dad.

Ok fair enough let’s not get into this now…score.

I give this game a nine out of ten because it is fun, but you can’t go into all of the houses.

Thank you Lucas.

So there we have it, Goat Simulator is fun, it has no point whatsoever, but sometimes that is just fine!