Topic: Oh my god! Not another joke thread! (Read 39684 times)

Dave · « **Reply #400 on:** 11 December 2009 at 05:14pm »

how do penguins like their coke ?

on the rocks!

Monty · « **Reply #401 on:** 20 December 2009 at 06:57pm »

Pollen is essentially 'plant sperm'.

Therefore, this makes hay fever an STD.

Since no one voluntarily takes in pollen, I've deduced: We are all being raped by trees.

In conclusion: deforestation is the way forward.

Take that environment. You rape us. We rape you right back.

Monty · « **Reply #402 on:** 22 December 2009 at 11:37am »

Pussy is like snow.
Its fun to play with, you never know when it's gonna come and only some of it is clean enough to eat.

tubaros · « **Reply #403 on:** 22 December 2009 at 11:40am »

^ and dont eat it if its yellow!!

Monty · « **Reply #404 on:** 22 December 2009 at 11:49am »

I think that was covered in the final part of the joke...

iknowgungfu · « **Reply #405 on:** 22 December 2009 at 12:35pm »

I was going round afraid I was going to catch clamydia from the snow-woman I made the other day..................

Monty · « **Reply #406 on:** 06 January 2010 at 01:59pm »

Did you know the Chuckle Brothers were actually Siamese twins?

The operation to separate them was known as a tometoyoutomy.

Monty · « **Reply #407 on:** 01 February 2010 at 07:04pm »

What's brown and kills babies?

John Terry's wallet.

Monty · « **Reply #408 on:** 11 February 2010 at 05:50pm »

Not worth its own thread.

Monty · « **Reply #409 on:** 18 February 2010 at 10:56am »

My friend has a never say die attitude.

I keep telling him dices is grammatically incorrect.

Monty · « **Reply #410 on:** 04 March 2010 at 08:26pm »

Met a stunning woman at a property convention.

She told me she lives in a mansion so rural she can walk around her home naked with the curtains open.

I told her I was currently developing a semi into something much bigger.

tubaros · « **Reply #411 on:** 06 March 2010 at 01:27pm »

tubaros · « **Reply #412 on:** 06 March 2010 at 02:55pm »

MIkes · « **Reply #413 on:** 27 March 2010 at 09:08am »

Not exactly a joke, but we got this toy for my son when he was born, and something about it made me smile each time I saw it, and it wasn't until I saw Watchmen recently that I realised what it was. This is now know affectionately as Doc Manhattan in our house:

iknowgungfu · « **Reply #414 on:** 27 March 2010 at 09:35am »

LMAO!

What was it supposed to be? Besides some Freudian influenced toy.

MIkes · « **Reply #415 on:** 27 March 2010 at 09:38am »

I think the top ha;f's supposed to be a hippo. Whatever it is, Matthew isn't allowed to play with it anymore.

tubaros · « **Reply #416 on:** 27 March 2010 at 01:36pm »

Why? Because of the big blue cock?

iknowgungfu · « **Reply #417 on:** 27 March 2010 at 02:10pm »

No. I think Mikes hates Hippos.

Monty · « **Reply #418 on:** 05 April 2010 at 11:13am »

Fuck cheesy chat-up lines, we need better break-up lines:

Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back.

Is it hot in here, or are you just suffocating me in this relationship?

I didn't know angels flew this close to the ground. Maybe that's because this angel's gained a little weight since we started going out.

Monty · « **Reply #419 on:** 15 April 2010 at 05:50pm »

My CDO has gotten so bad lately that I've even started spelling acronyms in alphabetical order.

Author Topic: Oh my god! Not another joke thread! (Read 39684 times)