Ow

[Bob Todd]

I feel like beakering because this shit is ridiculous — yesterday I pulled a muscle in my lower back while hanging up a pair of pants to dry. My last job, which lasted a year, involved unloading deliveries; if it was lighter than 20kg, I carried it, and if it was heavier, I pushed it, and this never happened. Why couldn't I at least pull it fighting a bear or juggling weasels or something? Argh. It caned so much I couldn't even stand for an hour and a half, and even now I can't walk upright. I wish I had a zimmer frame or some trekking poles or something. And I can't lean forward too much either, as that pulls on my upper back uncomfortably. I can tolerate sitting down, or lying in the foetal position, but that's it. Ow ow ow.

Tell me things.

[Monty]

I feel like beakering because this shit is ridiculous — yesterday I pulled a muscle in my lower back while hanging up a pair of pants to dry ... Why couldn't I at least pull it fighting a bear or juggling weasels or something?

I'm pretty sure juggling weasels uses different muscles.

Tell me things.

Things you already know or new things you don't? Also, do they have to be true?

[Bob Todd]

Either, I'm not reet bothered.

[iknowgungfu]

Dogs can't look up

[iknowgungfu]

BTW.....I hope you know where I've ripped this from.

[Monty]

Dogs can't look up

I was so close to posting that. It amazes me how quickly that quote comes to mind when trying to think of 'facts'

Either, I'm not reet bothered.

Then I will give you a combo. Some of the following is true, some is not. There is a prize for guessing which*.

I was late for work today because I decided a spliff and a cup of coffee were preferable to rushing for the bus which would inevitably fly past the end of the road as I approached (just like every single day for the last fortnight).

For breakfast I had a toasted bagel, full of bacon and brown sauce. Dead tasty it was and made me spend the morning craving another. So for lunch I got another one, instead of eating the ham sandwich I had packed for myself.

I got top marks in my appraisal, meaning my bonus next month will be the biggest possible. It was awesome finding out from the horses mouth that neither my boss or senior manager have managed to realise how little work I actually do! Of course, with money being what it is these days there is no guarantee the bonus will be much in the first place, especially before it's taxed

This afternoon I went to the vending machine for a KitKat and the one behind mine was angled strangely and dropped out as well! Not a bad day all in all.

*may not be true

[iknowgungfu]

Bagel is a lie?  Who can be arsed with the faff in the morning?

[Monty]

Bagel is a lie?

Only the cake is a lie.

Who can be arsed with the faff in the morning?

Eh? Faff?

1. Enter cafe.
2. Order toasted bagel with brown sauce.
3. Eat toasted bagel with brown sauce.
4. ???
5. Profit

Simples.

[iknowgungfu]

There was me thinking you were making it yerself!!

[Monty]

Make it myself? Who can be arsed with the faff in the morning?

Especially when I can go to the cafe and have Monika, the goddess who works there, make it for me

[Sprite Machine]

Simples.

DIE!

[Monty]

Why you not like meercats?

[Bob Todd]

Does the meerkat know he's giving free publicity to comparethemarket?

[MIkes]

Tell me things.

In China, someone takes his or her own life on average every two minutes. China accounts for nearly a quarter of the global total of suicides with between 250,000 and 300,000 suicides a year.

Hanging is the leading method of suicide worldwide.

Native Americans in Florida used the teeth of Great White sharks as arrowheads.

The greatest number of takes for one scene in a film is 324 in Charlie Chaplin’s 1931 City Lights.

Average street price for a gram of pure cocaine in the U.S. currently is between $80 and $100. The average price for a rock of crack cocaine is $10 to $25

Approximately 1% of people worldwide identify as asexual (having no strong sexual attraction to either sex).

Mars’ crust is thicker than Earth’s and is made up of one piece, unlike Earth’s crust which consists of several moving plates.

The “S” in Harry S Truman doesn’t stand for anything; therefore, there is no period after his middle initial.

Thongs are illegal in Melbourne, Florida as of January 2005. The punishment is a $500 fine or 60 days in jail.

I am currently considering the cost versus benefit of shifting my jeans to scratch my balls.

[Monty]

I am currently considering the cost versus benefit of shifting my jeans to scratch my balls.

How much does it cost then? I can't be that much compared to the incredible feeling that comes with scratching ones own balls.


Strawberries are a member of the rose family. I know this to be true for it says so on the lid of my Snapple.

[MIkes]

It costs alot when you're already really, really comfy.

[Monty]

But surely itchy balls = uncomfortable?

[MIkes]

The position overruled the itchyness.