Someone forgot to remind Planet Moon that current action-shooters are meant to tackle serious subjects with hyper-realism. An easy mistake to make - they probably figured anything called Armed & Dangerous must be serious. Au contraire mon frere! An unabashedly goofy and decidedly British sense of humor gives this 3D shooter, dare it be said, a Pythonesque feel. While grim-faced videogame officials search out those responsible for this oversight (to sack them, naturally), take some time to enjoy a romp through the countryside with a merry little band known as the Lionhearts.
Who are these Lionhearts? Their leader, a masked bandit named Roman, brought together this eccentric group. He also serves as the character played throughout the game. The rest of the crew consists of Jonesy, one of the last surviving molemen of Scotland (and with the accent to prove it); Q, an imposing combat robot whose love of tea led to self-awareness; and Rexus, a half-mad, blind old mystic (the "brains" of the bunch). While the group may not resemble a Tolkien fellowship, they nonetheless find themselves at the centre of a prophecy destined to save Milola. Despite the English country cottage landscape, Milola is fortunately no Middle Earth.
Their chronicle spans twenty-one levels of action, sewn together by story-advancing cutscenes appearing between each. It is these scenes that truly steal the show; no subject is seemingly off-limits - in bits that rank right up there with gaming's all-time funniest (LucasArts even allowed a couple of comedic references to their hallowed Star Wars franchise). The resulting humour runs the gamut, from laugh-out-loud funny to uncomfortably-silenced giggles...and all points in-between. While many games include a gallery to replay scenes after their first showing, plan on actually utilising that feature in Armed & Dangerous. Because they're that good.
And the silliness spills over right into the action. Along with the usual machine-guns and sniper rifles, the dangerous artillery includes an inspired assortment of some of the most entertaining - and destructive - devices ever (and somewhere in a hidden lab, those R&D techs at 'Acme' are taking notes for their next Wile E. Coyote collection). Such fiendish design is evident in the Topsy-Turvy Bomb, that when stuck into the ground flips the game world upside-down - and sends all the bad guys flying off into space; or the World's Smallest Black Hole, that rips a hole in the very fabric of space (neatly sucking up all the surrounding nasties). But the pièce de résistance - and new holder of the title, World's Best Videogame WeaponTM - goes to the Land Shark Gun. Pull the trigger on this little baby and the tip of an ominously-familiar fin appears out of the ground, and slices off towards the nearest target. Shortly thereafter, a gaping maw of teeth leads to the rupture of a Great White beneath the foe - amid cries of, "He got my b***s...!" Well, you get the picture. (Needless to say, the weapon never gets old.)
For such a creative remit, the in-game action takes an unexpectedly conventional approach. Most of the levels provide for fairly standard third-person shoot 'em up affairs (in which you can put all those malevolent toys to use). These typically find Roman tasked with the usual objectives - blowing things up and rescuing the innocent. The target-rich environments he must traverse to accomplish these goals offer enough cannon fodder to satisfy even the heartiest of appetites for destruction. Rocket towers, cannons and a flood of machine-gunning, rocket-launching, sniper-crazed goons eagerly attack from all directions. Accessory manufacturers take note: a couple levels of Armed & Dangerous proves more than adequate for stress-testing of the Xbox controller's right trigger.
In fantasy-trek tradition, our hearty adventurers take a break from the road every now and then - to defend the walls of a town besieged by enemy hordes. Placed after every second or third level, these shooting gallery-styled 'defend the base' missions offer up a little change of pace. Perched high atop the wall overlooking the surrounding countryside, Roman sits in a gunner's turret to repulse wave after wave of attackers, as they make their assault. Looking for the most part like an army of termites (until very close), mowing them down serves little purpose other than upping the body count.
While certainly not revolutionary, the action does play out with plenty of pizazz; intuitive, responsive controls keep the numbers well in hand. A two-thumbstick approach - much like that used in first-person shooters - meshes well with the run 'n' gun style. The system works far better than most, and keeps frustrating moments to a minimum. Smooth response from the stick makes guiding the free camera over Roman's shoulder easy, and allows for a quick turn to fire in one direction whilst running in another.
Between attacks, that camera freedom also comes in handy for taking in the expansive environments of Milola. Views that stretch well off into the distance underscore the power of the robust graphics engine. More importantly, the seamless experience of approaching areas seen from afar - without startling pop-up - strengthens the sense of immersion in the world. And, when up-close, the visuals deliver all the detail and lighting effects that have come to be expected from the Xbox. Along with the appropriately-campy voice work for the characters, powerful sound effects (in 5.1, for those fortunate enough) complete the solid sensory package.
With so much going for it, Armed & Dangerous surprisingly fails to stave off the creeping sense of monotony that develops as the game wears on. Midway through the twenty-one levels, they already begin landsliding together. Only the cutscenes change as the story progresses - leaving a numbing pattern of rescue these villagers, blow up those bulls-eye houses, defend the wall (and repeat ad nauseum). Well, there is one change: the difficulty ramps up considerably, with each cycle spewing out an increasingly outrageous quantity of thugs. Between ammunition restrictions and simple necessity, the rather mundane machine-gun soon becomes the weapon of choice (leaving its more entertaining cousins like the Land Shark Gun in your backpack).
Even without the colourful weaponry, the energetic combat might carry the game were it not for the glaring lack of mid-level saves. Only a single 'pub' (aka public house, to be found somewhere on each level) offers the opportunity to save progress. And, while they can be returned to any number of times, the large environments leave a lot of ground to be covered with any subsequent death. Not much of an issue early on, but it does tend to disrupt the flow later in the game - as the chance of getting overwhelmed rises dramatically. When all is said and done, working through the levels genuinely feels like work (for the sum benefit of accessing the cutscenes).
Picked up on suspicion of being Armed & Dangerous, lengthy interrogation of these Lionhearts reveals their true criminal intent - falling short of their own lofty ambitions. Enough cutscene and Land Shark buffoonery accompanies their jaunt across Milola to cover the price of (one's) tagging along. Strip them away and the barenaked shooter still plays better than most. That it somehow feels disappointingly ordinary only serves to confirm the creative genius evident in the rest of the 'designer' garb.
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